OK, lemme explain...

So, it has come to my attention that i use the phrase, "you are my hero!" a lot...
and some people think that if i use it too much, it kind loses its meaning.
i disagree!!
lemme explain: do you ever have one of those days where it seems pretty much every little thing that could go wrong, DOES??
when one person smiles, or has a really good attitude, or goes the extra mile to make you're day better, well, THEY ARE MY HEROES.
and i don't think people hear that enough. without all the little things that make the day smooth, well, life would just kinda be depressing!
so... thank you to all the people in my life who make every day worth living!
THE END

GOOD POINT!

"True... life might be EASIER if God just TOLD us what to do with our lives... but that wouldn't require a whole lot of FAITH, now would it??"
--Pastor Murray--

i thought a lot about that quote over the past 21 hours since i heard pastor murray say it.
and i've come to find that it is oh so true.
life WOULD be easy if God just said, "ok jess, this is my plan for your life... listen very carefully. You are going to go to college here, and then marry this guy, and then start a family, and live happily ever after." then, of course, He would hand me map with detailed instructions on how to get where... and so on.
but the more i though about that, the more i realzed, even then, i'm sure somehow i would screw it up... cuz i do that a lot.
i guess the point is, we all need to have faith...
the end!
--Jess--

Because You Are Loved

Don't give up It's just the weight of the world

When your heart's heavy

I will lift it for you

Don't give up

Because you want to be heard

If silence keeps you

I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood

Well I can hear you

Everybody wants to be loved

Don't give up

Because you are loved

Don't give up

It's just the hurt that you hide

When you're lost inside

I will be there to find you

Don't give up

Because you want to burn bright

If darkness blinds you

I will shine to guide you
Don't give up

Because you are loved

-God

God Loves us so much... His creation SCREAMS of this amazing love...We wake up in the morning, and we get a chance to see His artwork in the skies...

I think its really easy to get distracted in life. To forget our WHOLE purpose. What is our purpose? to Love and Be loved by He who Created us.

Life can be a real downer... so when you think you're about to give up, remember... God is holding on to you even when you are too weak to cling to Him. and i've been learning a lot about that over the pat few months...

--Jess--

... At the Car Wash!

so... it had come to my attention that my beastie car was getting kinda dirty, so i decided to give it a bath.
i thought carefully about where i wanted to take my vehical, considering it was going to be the first time i took it into a car wash... but after seeing that i had less than 1/16 of a tank of gas, and less than 25 min till i had to be at work, i decided to go to the closest, cheapest place possible.
after feeding the nice automatic-credit-card-eating-machine, i pulled forward. . . .

steam arose from pipes in the walls, and then water shot out at amazing speed...
foam flew in rainbow colors, and wax sprinkled on the hood of my car.

as i was watching this car-wash action from the driver's seat, i realized that my head was wet. i looked up, to see that water and foam were dripping out of the corner of the glass-plated moon roof...
well, you can imagine the thoughts in my head.

"OH NO!! i'm gonna drown... from the inside!!
my car's gonna fall apart, and i'm gonna die, and how would i explain THAT to my dad??"

... i got an old subway cup i had convieniently lying on the floor, and started catching the water/foam in it...
i felt like a hick.
here i am, sitting in my truck/suv-thingy called beastie, catching water from its leaky roof in a paper cup...
and when the terrifying ride was FINALLY over... i drove to work.
when i got out of work, i jumped in my car, and found ice INSIDE my car... SAD DAY!!!

--Jess--

bring me back...

"When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find that God is all you need. "

these words may seem true enough, but how often do we forget that God really is all we need?? i know for me, i had to come to a point in my life where i truley had nothing left, a point where i was drained of all that i thought i was, in order to be filled with all that my amazing Creator is.

now, granted, i am only 17, and some people might think "how can you come to total desperation in just 17 short years of life?"

well, let me use some lyrics to explain how i once felt...

"I'm not a stranger, No I am yours. With crippled anger, And tears that still drip sore.
I do not want to be afraid. I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
I may seem crazy Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here Though I don't want to die..."

yeah... all i had left was the pain and scars of a past that JUST WASN'T GOING AWAY. those scars weren't deep enough to let others see my pain, only deep enough so that i knew i could never be the same.
but at the end of the day, i didn't like being bitter. i didn't even realize i had become bitter, but i was. i was a broken person, drowning in the pain of yesterday. i realized i could not get out of this ocean bymyself. i needed something more.

and God is enough. He is more than enough. His love is undifinable, incomprehenible, unimaginalble... and i have gone from being lost in pain, to being found is this great love.

.... so, why tell you all this??
well, latley some things have happened that have made me doubt... some things that have been going on for a while, but have recently gotten worse.
but being a child of the Most High God, He has been faithful. and when i start to slip back into the old way of life, He is quick to bring me to His side, and remind me of all the things He has saved me from. He is merciful, and just, and amazing.
HE IS LOVE.

God is omni-awesome! :)
He puts a smile on my face, and a song in my heart, and how can i keep from singing His praise??

--Jess--

here i am again

LORD

when all that i am is empty again...

LORD

thank you for loving the nothing that is me.

LORD

i don't know why you love me so.

but LORD

i have to believe it to be true.